When I was a kid, we had a copy of the Whole Earth Catalog in the bathroom, which I paged through with eagerness. There was one section about parenting and there was an excerpt from a parenting book that talked about avoiding blame or questioning for blame and instead to speak to consequences. The example in the excerpt was instead of saying “who left out the milk?” (which encourages blame) to instead say, “if you leave the milk out, it will go bad.” (which encourages responsibility). There were before/after cartoons of kids finger pointing (blame) and kids rushing to put the milk away (responsibility).
I’ve been at this for more than a decade.
“Wet towels left on the floor get stinky.”
“Leaving lights on wastes power.”
“Sitting that way will break the chair.”
And the end result in this house is: stinky towels, lights I end up turning off, and broken chairs.
I don’t know whose kids were in the cartoon, but they clearly care a hell of lot more than mine.
Maybe it will pay off in the future, but in the meantime I think both approaches are horseshit for actual results.